The other me

you know how i know i'm really struggling with something, it gets blogged about, something about seeing the words written down helps me figure stuff out, which is why no one but me reads this shit, anyway. Hi other Sierra, your the real sierra, i've known this for a while, sense i saw the pitiful exsists you were living and dragged your sorry ass out of hating yourself for something that wasent your fault, for thinking somehow that you desirved to feel this way, well damnit sierra your still feeling this way. How can i talk you into thinking differantly, how i can reprogam your mind into not thinking every damn little thing that goes wrong is all because of you. i know the thoughts in your head, because i'm there too, i feel and think them with you, which one of us is more scared of you taking the dominate roll is this mind. of feeling and thinking and doing the things we used to, listening to doing what everyone else says, just to feel the need to be loved, or for this circumtance, accepted. believe me, i know her, she is always there, she is a pitiful creature, no back bone, no stamania, no real personality, but she does have this drive, it would mean the world to her, for just your acceptance. but sense iam the domantant here, i have to try and dig her out of the despair she feels for not getting that acceptance. so what now? where can we possibly go from here?
There is 2 people who she really relys on for that love and acceptance, both she knows will not be around forever, one probably longer then the other. I know who you are Sierra, even if he dosent see it yet, he will, and he will leave, and then what? you'll just have me, or will your self pity take over my reason?
here is my peice of advice, if you can ever take it. just try your best, and let that be good enough, you should never try and please anyone, ever, you should do as you see fit and right. and thats good enough, you'll never be the person you want to be, because thats just not you, but you can be the person to make your own choices and be okay with that. so just be okay with that, you'll be okay, this mind has the 2 of us, you'll be okay because you'll always have me

-izzy

Life as a house, A house with many pesonalities, The house that binds us, The same house that tears us apart.

Interesting how what i've come to look as a prison of sort was created and then finished for something noble, for love, maybe a little bit for pride, for a sense of doing something great. and now, well? the thing that was created to bring people together, designed to hold a gathering a people, and a horde of food, good times, laughter and family, now we are all trapped, in a place that cost too much money to keep afloat, the very air breathed filled with resentment and bad feelings. The resentment of one women in paticluar who feels the need to keep everyone together, to keep the feeling of family that the house was supposed to bring, the same women, torn apart by her own failer. and how long will be now before the feelings started and bridges burned turn into a flaming pile of rubble and mess to deep for our family to crawl out of this time. a house that was started with nobility, now something shameful, worst of all, something i never knew my family had in them, Greed. I fear it will only get worse, I watch that one women struggle to keep everything going, while the rest have giving up, no longer fighting to keep the flames away, resigned to be cosumed in their own way. Good luck to that one women, because I have giving up with the rest of them, the house needs to burn, and all the bad feelings with it, I can only hope my small family is far away when as they say "the shit really hits the fan"

My friends (to the tune of a yo gabba gabba song)

All my friends are differant, but I love them all the same

Jenny is my best friend she is so small and cute
she likes to wear big heels and pink
she is the one who's there for me
reminds me who I am

All my friends are differant, but I love them all the same

Mitchell is so big and warm
I want to kiss all day
and even though I bitch and cling he loves me anyway

All my friends are differant, but I love them all the same

Cassie is a flake sometimes
sometimes she's here sometimes she's not
Even though i'm mad at times
she lightens up my heart.

All my friends are differant, but I love them all the same

Sheri is my aunt and friend
I know its kind of wierd
she dosent judge or point
and loves the way you are

All my friends are differant, but I love them all the same.

Erik is so blonde and cute
he is my first born son
even though he breaks and runs
he has a loving heart.

So many good friends we know
All my friends are differant, but I love them all the same