The other me

you know how i know i'm really struggling with something, it gets blogged about, something about seeing the words written down helps me figure stuff out, which is why no one but me reads this shit, anyway. Hi other Sierra, your the real sierra, i've known this for a while, sense i saw the pitiful exsists you were living and dragged your sorry ass out of hating yourself for something that wasent your fault, for thinking somehow that you desirved to feel this way, well damnit sierra your still feeling this way. How can i talk you into thinking differantly, how i can reprogam your mind into not thinking every damn little thing that goes wrong is all because of you. i know the thoughts in your head, because i'm there too, i feel and think them with you, which one of us is more scared of you taking the dominate roll is this mind. of feeling and thinking and doing the things we used to, listening to doing what everyone else says, just to feel the need to be loved, or for this circumtance, accepted. believe me, i know her, she is always there, she is a pitiful creature, no back bone, no stamania, no real personality, but she does have this drive, it would mean the world to her, for just your acceptance. but sense iam the domantant here, i have to try and dig her out of the despair she feels for not getting that acceptance. so what now? where can we possibly go from here?
There is 2 people who she really relys on for that love and acceptance, both she knows will not be around forever, one probably longer then the other. I know who you are Sierra, even if he dosent see it yet, he will, and he will leave, and then what? you'll just have me, or will your self pity take over my reason?
here is my peice of advice, if you can ever take it. just try your best, and let that be good enough, you should never try and please anyone, ever, you should do as you see fit and right. and thats good enough, you'll never be the person you want to be, because thats just not you, but you can be the person to make your own choices and be okay with that. so just be okay with that, you'll be okay, this mind has the 2 of us, you'll be okay because you'll always have me

-izzy